Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize