Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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