Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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