your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
