summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize