What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
