I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
