there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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