He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
