They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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