You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
