I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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