Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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