Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
