Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
