i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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