I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize