I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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