You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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