All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize