somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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