I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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