Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
