is your mom at the bar?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
