the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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