are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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