It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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