It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
