yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
