The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
