let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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