You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
did i walk over a car last night?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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