Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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