I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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