i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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