So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
