Just fell off a train. Bad.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
