What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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