Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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