Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is my gift to your gina
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
