awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
