so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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