The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
