I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's get the cat blown out
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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