i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
