Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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