I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so that wasnt chicken after all
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
