no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
