i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
