He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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