Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
