we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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