this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
