Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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