I'm jealous of your bromance
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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