last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
