Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
