before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
