I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
